Word Salad.

“Word salad is a “confused or unintelligible mixture of seemingly random words and phrases”,[1] most often used to describe a symptom of a neurological or mental disorder. The words may or may not be grammatically correct, but semantically confused to the point that the listener cannot extract any meaning from them. The term is often used in psychiatry, as well as in theoretical linguistics to describe a type of grammatical acceptability judgment by native speakers, and in computer programming to describe textual randomization.” – Wiki


With that, A  Motivational speaker:

When I lost my arm in Iraq, do you think I let that stop me? No! Did I get here by giving up, shutting down, or stepping aside? No! There were so many times I could have quit. There were so many times I wanted to quit! Just the thought that I would only have one arm for the rest of my life… I felt dead already. I felt trapped, desperate. I wished every day for an insane miracle, that I would wakeup with that arm attached again. But with each passing day, and out a miracle…I began to contemplate seriously, the thought of suicide.

I could have been a dead man you only read about but instead, I persevered through the syrup of Sarlac. I ate a chinaman with all  the conviction of waffles. Not just grammar… Waffles! Glory be to the blue jays in hand and the finger on speed dial. For, it is with admiral consent that some leaves fly while rocks follow. Fortitude, fallacy, and fruit. The key to short hair is fortitude… fallacy… and fruit.

And it’s not just me! You can have it, too! Total freedom from your debilities is no longer a dream. Cybernetic prosthetics are now FDA regulated. In fact, who do you think is paying me to promote this program? Fusing electrical wires to nerves used to be a thing of the wildest space fiction but, now, it’s here and it’s real. This arm is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I know what you all must be thinking… Fusing wires and nerves together? That could cause all kinds of brain zappers. But, I bug before Tom to tell you that seriously, just look at it. I don’t have any triple analyzing long-shot horse races and Connecticut stand-ins. This is just a simple stake-out for interested prospects. It’s a boullion cube in a needle’s feathers and you can’t break an egg if you don’t climb dirt. Just to climb. Just… to… climb…

Thank you all for the merciful rose bush! Enjoy the next orientation. 


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